The Intensive Soul of Money: Learning Lessons that Add Value Beyond Bucks

By Dr. Patty Gently on October 15, 2024

Bright Insight Support Network founder and president Dr. Patty Gently (formerly Williams) is a trauma therapist and coach who specializes in EMDR, ND-Affirmative DBT, and IFS modalities. Through Bright Insight, she works to counsel, coach, and advocate for gifted, twice-exceptional, and neurodivergent persons, along with other marginalized populations.

The Intensive Soul of Money: Learning Lessons that Add Value Beyond Bucks

It can be easier to consider and work through our values and mindsets when we put a price tag on them. That's right; money talks and we tend to listen. Many authors write about money and values, though few have done it as successfully and holistically as Lynne Twist. In her book, The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life, Twist offers valuable insights that help readers examine their attitudes toward money—how we earn it, spend it, and offer it up—which can also provide surprising insights into our lives. Through personal stories and pragmatic insight, she encourages us to discover our relationship with money, understand how we use it, and align that relationship with our core values and goals.

The model and concepts Twist uses can be particularly helpful for those navigating giftedness and trauma or on a journey of identity development, which may seem a stretch though I will explain further. The book’s emphasis on sufficiency, reframing productivity, and finding fulfillment in the richness of who we are—rather than what we achieve externally—resonates with me personally, and with the experiences of individuals who often feel misunderstood or pressured to meet societal standards. By integrating these ideas, individuals can approach growth and healing in a way that honors both their desire for more and their inherent sense of completeness.

Here's a bit more detail though, which may encourage you to read what Twist has to offer...

Sufficiency and Whole-Person Development in Gifted Neurodivergence

For gifted neurodivergent persons, embracing whole-person development means acknowledging that every aspect of the self, including areas of struggle or difference, contributes to one’s unique complexity. Often, society places narrow expectations on what it means to be “successful” or “gifted,” however growth for such deeply complex individuals is not about meeting external benchmarks. Instead, it comes from a recognition and radical acceptance of their inherent sufficiency. Understanding that people are already complete allows them to grow and evolve from a place of internal potential, rather than feeling the need to constantly prove their worth. This can be a pivotal and transformative understanding for any person.

Reframing Scarcity and Abundance in the Context of Trauma and Difficulty

Those who have experienced trauma or developmental difficulties and are gifted can be particularly susceptible to a scarcity mindset, feeling like they are never doing enough or aren’t living up to their proposed potential. Shifting toward an abundance mindset can help reframe one's relationship with their abilities and progress. Rather than viewing growth as a way to “fix” themselves or compensate for perceived shortcomings that is, they can see it as a natural expression of their desire to expand and thrive. Growth, in this case, becomes a self-directed process rooted in personal aspirations and authentic alignment with what ought to be, rather than seeking external validation based on what others expect.

Healing Trauma and Reclaiming Self-Worth

For individuals navigating trauma, healing can often feel like a long journey toward reclaiming lost self-worth, or claiming a worth that was never established. The idea of sufficiency from The Soul of Money is particularly relevant here—it encourages recognizing that even during times of struggle, you are still whole and valuable- or as I often say, you matter because you exist. Trauma survivors often feel diminished or broken and like they do not matter enough. By internalizing the concept of sufficiency, they can approach healing from a place of understanding that they are already enough where before they saw insufficiency. This awareness as growth and recovery become acts of self-care, where individuals can heal without feeling pressured to meet external expectations.

Redefining Productivity and Success for Gifted Neurodivergent Individuals

Gifted neurodivergent individuals frequently feel immense pressure to meet societal standards of productivity and success, which can lead to burnout and frustration. Traditional measures of success often don’t capture the full complexity of their abilities and experiences though. By redefining success for themselves and focusing on meaningful personal growth, gifted individuals can pursue fulfillment that aligns with their values, rather than constantly striving to meet external demands. Growth then becomes about living authentically and in alignment with personal aspirations, needs, and values, rather than achieving for achievement’s sake.

Growth as a Positive Force for People with High Growth Potential

For deep, complex individuals with exceptional intellectual, emotional, and/or creative abilities, striving for growth is often a natural and essential part of life. This is particularly true for those with great growth potential. Rather than viewing this drive for more as a response to feelings of inadequacy, however, it can be celebrated as a positive force and innate need. Growth, when pursued mindfully and consistent with one’s inner values, leads to greater self-discovery and identity development, personal satisfaction, and alignment with personality ideals or what ought to be. For individuals with high growth potential, continuous evolution is a source of meaning and fulfillment and may be powerfully embraced as a core part of their identities.

Balancing Intensity with Self-Care for the Gifted Neurodivergent

Gifted neurodivergent individuals often experience life with great intensity, whether intellectually, emotionally, inmaginationally, kinesthetically (psychomotor), or sensually (Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities). This intensity can make it difficult to find balance, especially when there is a strong drive to grow and achieve. However, intensity and growth do not need to come at the expense of well-being though it may look messy. By integrating balance with their natural intensity, individuals can find ways to nurture both their drive for more and their need for rest and self-care. This allows for sustainable growth, ensuring that their potential is cultivated in a wholly fulfilling way. It is worth noting, however, that rest and self-care for one person may look different for another. Knowing one's own needs here, therefore, is essential.

Finding Purpose Beyond Trauma and Gifted Neurodivergence

Purpose is often a central theme for gifted neurodivergent individuals who also tend to be intensive pattern-finders and meaning-makers, as well as any person recovering from trauma. Living in alignment with one’s values and personal growth often brings a deep sense of fulfillment. By focusing on their own journey and inner growth, rather than external achievements alone, individuals can discover a renewed sense of purpose. No matter the manifestation of purpose, the drive to discover and grow can come from within, independent of outside expectations, leading to a more meaningful existence. And though externalized outcomes can feel rewarding and may be part of this process, the alignment with needs and values is what drives the growth.

For those navigating gifted neurodivergence and trauma and seeking a more fully realized identity, the principles from The Soul of Money offer a pathway to embrace sufficiency while still striving for growth. Integrating concepts from the book can help individuals find a balance between honoring their need for continuous evolution AND recognizing that they are already complete as they are. Growth, when aligned with personal values and aspirations, leads to deeper fulfillment and healing. This approach supports a more balanced, self-aware journey toward personal evolution, where growth and sufficiency coexist, creating a fulfilling life rooted in authenticity.