Finding My Meaning

By Lacey Vasquez on June 16, 2023

Guest Blogger Lacey Vasquez, a compassionate multipotentialite, freelance writer, and psychology major, is currently completing her Master's in clinical mental health counseling. With a passion for aiding others, she focuses on psychology and self-help through her writing expertise. Drawing from personal tragedy, Lacey specializes in supporting bereaved children, making her an even more valuable asset to her community.

Finding My Meaning

I have struggled with where I am “supposed” to be in life. Although some would tell me I’m still young, I expected my life to look different. I thought I would have two kids and a successful business by now. I have always made sure to make everyone else a priority. I take care of everyone. I have been that friend that you could call at all hours of the night if you needed someone. What do I have to show for this? Neglected health, anxiety, depression, and never feeling rested. Don’t get me wrong, I feel that I am the best daughter, wife, and friend I could possibly be but now I realize that I’ve missed out on making my health a priority. In doing so I have been obese all my adult life. I am now having physical ailments because of this.

All I’ve ever wanted to do was make a difference. I wanted to help children who have lost parents because I did not have that resource when I needed it. I wanted to make my friends' and families' lives better by helping anyway I could. However, doing that I lost myself. I lost who I was. My identity became caretaker, daughter, wife, and friend. I have never been a priority to myself. The idea of putting myself first never made sense. It made me feel that I was selfish. It didn’t matter that the flight attendants would tell me to put my mask on first so that I could then help those around me. I didn’t see it that way. I would have died from lack of oxygen trying to help those around me first.

One day it just clicked. I need to put myself first so I can help those around me. How can I help anyone if I am not here to do it. My life matters. My happiness matters. My health matters.

In choosing myself I quit my day job and went back to school to get my master’s degree in counseling. I did not have a lot of support from my family due to this big risk of not having any income, yet I did it anyway. I chose myself. Because my meaning is me.